Noodler of the Month - Terry McLaughlin

Q. Tell us a little about your writing journey so far.

A. Actually, it's more of a writing detour. I never wanted to be a writer, and I never wrote anything other than homework assignments and other necessities until I was in my forties. A college professor recommended I consider it, and I finally decided to take his advice when I discovered the romance genre and fell in love with love stories.

I wrote two manuscripts, and then I joined Romance Writers of America and discovered there were rules--and I'd already broken all of them. I quit writing fiction while I worked on my master's degree in English and taught writing at a local university, but eventually I drifted back to it, finaled in the Golden Heart with my third manuscript and met the Noodlers. Two years later, I sold my first book.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you've ever received from another author?

A. If I'd known there was going to be a test, I would have paid closer attention.

The advice I've heard most frequently is also the simplest: Read. Write.

Q. If you could spend an hour picking the brain of anyone, who would it be?

A. First, I'd like to say that I think picking someone's brain has to be one of the ickiest idioms around. And next, if I only get an hour, I'd like to spend it with Robin Williams because I bet he'd keep me laughing for most of it.

Q. What do you feel is your best strength as a writer?

A. My ability to magically transform white-knuckled panic into words on the page. Dialogue would come in a close second.

Q. Is there a type of book you'd love to write that you haven't?

A. I still haven't figured out how to write the type of book I do write.

My husband would say the answer to this question is obvious: a huge bestseller that earns tons of money, enabling him to retire early and spend the rest of his life playing golf in fabulous locales.

Actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea because I could get him out of the house and turn off the Golf Channel.

Q. What, in your opinion, are the three writing books that no writer should be without?

A. A dictionary, a thesaurus, and a basic writer's guidebook such as the Chicago Manual of Style (only smaller and thinner, unless you're going to use it to stack on top of things to flatten them).

I bought a lot of how-to-write books that I never read and got tired of dusting, so I gave them away. Besides, the few times I peeked inside them, I found out I was doing everything wrong, and it made me gain weight.

(Okay, I'm not sure about the weight gain, but it's a good excuse for not reading those books.)

Q. What is your writing process like?

A. I don't have one, unless aimless floundering counts. But if you must know...

WARNING. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

I get a character or two in my head and a vague image of some scene, and I type the magic words: "Chapter One." It's all downhill from there.

I write out of sequence. I write the beginnings of lots of scenes, but rarely finish them the first time around. I write lots of notes to myself in parentheses that are longer than the "real" stuff outside the parentheses.

When I've got dozens of pages to scroll through and start losing my place, I read through it all and try to figure out who these people are and what the hell they think they're doing. And then I start over again, filling in gaps and taking stuff out of the parentheses and writing other notes on other pieces of paper so they won't accidentally fall into the manuscript and make me any more confused than I already am. And I do this over and over, again and again, until I've got enough pages to call it finished. Whether or not I can call it a story is always in doubt.

The only thing I can say with any confidence is that I'm not really a writer. I'm a reviser.

Q. Other than writing and reading, what other activities do you enjoy?

A. Eating and sleeping. And travel. Also playing with the dogs, listening to music, browsing through home decorating and gardening magazines, going out to dinner with friends, watching movies, playing board games with my family, and lots of other basic, everyday stuff. I'm easily entertained.

By the way, I don't actually enjoy writing.

Q. What is your dream vacation?

A. I'd want to have my husband there with me (but no Golf Channel on the TV). There'd be lots of beautiful scenery and exotic architecture and fabulous museums and great shopping. I'd speak the local lingo fluently (this is a dream, right?), and I'd never get lost or worry about expenses. And if I could do all this in Venice, or Melbourne, or Kamakura, or Marseilles, or any number of interesting places, I'd be a happy camper.

But not in an actual camp. Most of my fantasies involve pampering in hotels and restaurants.

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