 Scary
Halloween Treat Box
By Kiki Clark
I personally think candy is a little sweeter if you have to work
for it – whether it’s by climbing onto a chair to get it out of
the top cupboard or sticking your hand into a box loaded with
rubber snakes, fake eyeballs, and something furry.
To that end, I dreamed up this unholy variation of an Advent
calendar, using my favorite craft medium, a cardboard box. To
re-coin a Homer Simpson phrase: “Cardboard – is there anything
it can’t do?”
[Note: To read this article in the proper, spooooky spirit,
insert the Halloween sound effects (SFX) where marked. Thank
you.]
What you’ll need:
Cardboard box and some more cardboard
Paint
Craft knife
Black duct tape
Scissors
Pencil
Yarn or string
Tape
Halloween art
Step One – Pick a box and come up with a design.
I made my treat box look like a haunted house. You also could
design it to look like a coffin, a castle, or something else
scary, like a dorm refrigerator or a broken CPU (SFX: low
moaning).
Step Two – Paint your box and mark the openings.
I peeled off most of the stickers and sealing tape prior to
painting. Don’t worry if peeling things off leaves torn/rough
spots. The more scabrous your box looks, the better.
I used spray paint because it’s fast and covers well. If you
spray, use a respirator and paint outside. Let your box dry
thoroughly. Even when it was dry, I continued to work outside as
much as possible because it takes days for the paint to fully
vent.
Decide which way your box is going to sit, and mark your
projected openings with a pencil. Make them high enough from the
base that a person reaching in also has to reach down, and so
the contents can’t be seen easily through the opening.
Step Three – Cut your openings.
Use your craft knife, and don’t cut a complete hole. Since I was
making a haunted house, I cut windows that opened from the top
and side, double-shutter windows, and even one round window. If
you were making a castle, you might give your windows an arched
top. If you’re making a coffin, you might leave a straight hinge
on your holes but make a ragged opening, as if something had
broken or chewed out. Make the size of your openings appropriate
for adult or child hands, depending on who will be reaching
inside.
Step Four – Duct tape
This is optional. I used it as window framing because I thought
it would look cool and because it covers the cut edges of
cardboard, thus reducing the chances that some excitable person
will jerk his or her hand out and get a cardboard cut (SFX:
shriek).
Step Five – Window Handles
These are also optional, and I didn’t put them on all my
windows. Poke two holes through the cardboard window flap (using
one end of your scissors, or something pointier that I neglected
to mention in the list of materials, such as the leather punch
on a pocket knife). Cut a piece of yarn bigger than you think
you’ll need. Wrap the ends with little pieces of tape, so they
look like shoelace ends. Poke the yarn through the holes and tie
on the underside of the flap. Trim any extra yarn and voila! (SFX:
“Voila!”)
Step Six – Decorate!
Because I have a color laser printer and gobs of digital
clipart, I decided to print, cut, and glue. “I have a sharp pair
of scissors and I’m not afraid to use them!” I cried, making
snipping sounds in the air. Apparently, I’m also not afraid to
go blind. (SFX: spooky creaking sound, such as might be made by
a person straightening her spine after being hunched over for
two hours). I attached my clippings with matte Mod Podge and a
cheap paint brush. It was the first time I’d ever used Mod Podge,
and I am sold.
If you have 1) non-discerning toddlers as your box users, or 2)
wonderful artistic talent, you can paint your own designs, make
little tissue ghosties and felt spiders with pipe-cleaner legs,
or hot-glue dead bugs and moldy leftovers to the outside (SFX:
startled scream). If you’ve got plenty of cash and not a lot of
time, go wild with stickers.
Step Seven – Put a lid on it!
Depending on your design, you might not need a separate lid –
just close the box. If you go with a lid, there’s the question
of whether or not to make it removable. I could have glued my
roof/lid on and just shoved stuff in through the windows, but I
wanted to be able to adjust the arrangement and mix of stuff
inside. So my lid is removable – hence the Rube Goldberg
arrangement of strings and holes.
First I cut and duct-taped the flaps of the box so they would
hold a roof.
Then I measured and cut a spare piece of cardboard. I sprayed
the cardboard with gloss-black paint and folded it to fit.
Cardboard folds easily along the corrugations; keep that in mind
when deciding how to orient and cut it.
The next part requires a little finesse (SFX: snort of
disbelief). No, really, it’s not that hard. Your punch will go
through the roof just fine, but because there’s nothing firm
behind the second layer of cardboard (the box flaps), your punch
won’t go through that. So keep holding the roof in place and
poke a pencil through the holes, to mark where the punches
beneath should go. It’s easiest to punch and string one side of
the roof down, then punch and mark the other side.
With your holes punched (eight in the roof, 12 in the box
below), wrap one end of a piece of yarn with tape and start
threading. If you can’t figure it out from the photo, here are
instructions for this particular threading scheme (feel free to
make up your own): Go through one of the holes under the eaves
and into the interior of the box; across to one of the lower
roof holes and through the roof to the outside; straight up to
the second roof hole; back into the box and across to
opposite-side, upper roof hole; straight down the outside to the
lower roof hole and into the interior of the box; and finally,
across and through the remaining hole under the eaves, to the
outside. This will fasten one short side of the roof to one
short side of the house.
Use a long piece of yarn, so that when you want to lift your box
lid off, the yarn won’t pull out, causing you to have to
rethread it all over again (SFX: agonized moan). After I cinched
the roof down by pulling the threads tight, I simply tied the
ends together in a bow under the eaves. You can roll up the long
ends and tuck them under the pulled-tight yarn so they don’t
dangle.
Step Eight – Load ‘er up!
Choose your treats and tricks according to who is going to be
using the box. If it’s for the little monsters who come to the
door, be kind. Just put candy in, and consider only using the
box if a parent is present, so as not to alarm skittish and/or
paranoid tots.
If you’re using the box at a party with people you know, go
wild. Adults at my party will have a chance to reach into the
BOX OF DEATH. Inside, I’ll have some mix of wrapped candy
miniatures, gummy worms, rubber cockroaches, and gooey fake
eyeballs and brains (the kind you throw at the wall and they
roll slowly down). I’m thinking of throwing a feather boa in
there, just for kicks (SFX: “What the heck…bwuheeaaaaaaget-it-off-me!!!”).
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 Drool-Worthy
Fall Recipes from Texas
By
Sandy Blair
Texas Deep-Fried
Turkey
(Most of
you are thinking “Huh?” but trust me. Fried turkey is to die for
and faster to cook than roasted or smoked turkey.)
1 (10- to
12-pound) turkey
2
teaspoons salt, or to taste
2
teaspoons pepper, or to taste
1 teaspoon
cayenne pepper
4-5
gallons peanut oil
Rinse and
dry turkey after removing innards from both ends. Generously
season inside of cavity with spices. Heat oil to 350-375 degrees
in an outdoor deep fryer. When oil is at the right temperature,
use a strong twine or rope sling to lower the turkey into the
fryer. (Wear goggles; this puppy may splatter.) Cook about five
minutes per pound or until meat thermometer reaches 180 degrees.
For wild
turkey, cook only four minutes per pound.
Texas Corn-Bread
Dressing
12 cups
crumbled cornbread (If in a hurry, use one package of cornbread
stuffing mix.)
1/2 cup
melted butter
2 cups
chopped onion
2 1/2 cups
chopped celery
1 1/2 cups
chopped, unpeeled apple
1/2 pound
sausage, cooked and drained
2 eggs,
beaten
5-6 cups
chicken or turkey stock
2
teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon
pepper
Preheat
oven to 350 degrees. Mix ingredients (will be soupy) and place
in a greased 13x9-inch baking dish. Bake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours.
Dressing should be firm and scoopable with a golden top. Serves
10-12.
Minted Carrots
1
(1-pound) bag of baby carrots
1 cup
melted butter (Hey, I never claimed my recipes were low-cal.)
1 cup
fresh mint
1/2 cup
brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon
salt
Preheat
oven to 350 degrees. In a saucepan, bring carrots to a boil then
simmer until fork tender, about 10-12 minutes. In a blender,
combine butter, mint, brown sugar and salt. Process until smooth
and brown sugar dissolves. Pour over carrots, and toss to coat
veggies evenly. Place in oven until heated through, about 15-20
minutes. Serves 8.
Sweet Potato Pie
2 cups
canned yams or sweet potatoes, drained and mashed (Note: Make
sure you use yams, not yellow sweet potatoes.)
2 eggs
3/4 cup
milk
1/4 cup
butter
1 cup
sugar
1 teaspoon
cinnamon
1 teaspoon
vanilla
1/4
teaspoon salt
Preheat
oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine all the
ingredients, mixing well. Pour into a 9-inch, unbaked pie shell,
and bake for 55 minutes or until the tip of a sharp knife
inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool and enjoy. Serves
8.
For metric conversions of the measurements above, consult any of
the following sites:
http://southernfood.about.com/library/info/blconv.htm
http://www.thatsmyhome.com/recipes/conversion.htm
http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/conversions.htm
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