Wet Noodle Posse

TRAVELS WITH THE WNP

Boulder, Colorado – Weirdness on the Hoof

By Kiki Clark

I was driving to work several years ago when I saw a wild-eyed steer loping down the street in front of me. This was in downtown Boulder, you understand. Pedestrians hugged the buildings. Cars, including mine, stopped. Only one woman crossed the street when the light turned. Shoulders hunched, she trudged across, apparently oblivious to the thousand pounds of live steak careening toward her. The steer intersected the crosswalk behind her and turned left on Pearl, headed toward the pedestrian mall.

The newspaper reported that the animal was an escapee from a truck bound for the slaughterhouse. He was retrieved, and purchased by an animal-rights group, which relocated him to a farm to live out his days in peace. The group involved named him, not Liberty or Freedom, but Justice. I never understood that.

After living in Boulder for fifteen years, I could tell you a lot of unusual stories. The city isn’t that large (population: 96,000+), but the combination of hippies, yuppies, university students and tourists makes for a kind of civic schizophrenia.

Musicians on the Pearl Street Mall

If you want to see Boulder’s weirdness against a retail background, head for the Pearl Street Mall. The official length of this brick-paved pedestrian mall is four blocks, but its spirit extends several blocks on either side, encompassing an Urban Outfitters and Baby Gap as well as head shops and tattoo parlors. This is café culture at its hippest. Stroll beneath the trees, past fountains and bronze statues of wildlife, and you’ll see the beautiful people sipping cappuccinos and eating sushi at outdoor tables, serenaded by talented musicians and Neil Young wannabes. The Mall is populated, not only by fashionistas and nubile coeds, but by Goths, Punks, fresh-faced Birkenstock wearers, and dreadlocked Caucasian kids, the latter cheerfully begging for gas money so they can get to the next Rainbow Gathering.

These five blocks are also the stage for some of the country’s best buskers. Residents and tourists eat their ice-cream and gourmet chocolates while watching tightrope walkers, jugglers, bluegrass trios, a contortionist who does one extreme-Yoga pose after another, and my favorite – a magician whose lovely assistant is a lovebird. I’ll mention the zip-code guy, but it would take too long to explain him.

Walking the Mall, you can see there’s plenty of money in Boulder. Boulderites like money, even as we fear what it can do to our town. Part of Boulder’s concentrated oddness comes from growth restrictions. Home lots are heavily subdivided, so venerable single-family homes stand cheek-by-jowl with student-filled quadplexes. To the west, much of the city is bordered by “open space” – protected wilderness areas in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. It’s here that the Boulder Creek Path begins. This seven-mile concrete ribbon starts in Four Mile Canyon, runs through public parks and along the Boulder Creek (parallel to the Mall and two blocks to the south), and finally peters out in the flatlands and suburbs. This is where Boulder’s athletes hang out: rollerblading moms pushing specialized strollers, Japanese runners training for the Bolder Boulder, and of course, bicyclists. Where the path runs alongside the creek, teenagers beat the summer heat by floating downstream in inner tubes, shrieking at the first shock of glacier run-off. There’s also a slalom course for kayakers.

Girls playing in Boulder Creek, alongside the Bike Path

Follow the Creek Path on Memorial Day weekend and you’ll bump into the seething mass of humanity that is the Boulder Creek Festival. The information and sales booths are highly populated by environmental groups and alternative-health businesses, but the local branch of the Skeptics is also there, holding its own against the dark forces of Tarot readers and graphologists.

In the fall, the students return to the University of Colorado at Boulder, clogging the streets with inexperienced drivers. The City instantly begins an ambitious road-repair program. The students buy Eco-passes for the bus system and learn how to ride mountain bikes in the snow. Midriffs vanish, hidden under four-hundred-dollar Columbia jackets. Tubers and kayakers become skiers and snowboarders, who drive up the canyon roads and return wind-burned, their hair matted from knit caps. Downtown, the outdoor skating rink just off the Mall rings with the cries of falling children, and entrepreneurs hold their business lunches in the warmth of the Dushanbe teahouse – an architectural confection that was a gift from Boulder’s sister city in Tajikistan.

I’ll close with another driving-to-work story, this one from my friend Laura. She was across from McGuckin Hardware when she slowed her car to let a deer run across the street in front of her. This in itself is not uncommon. Deer range far into the city, ornamenting lawns and frustrating gardeners. But this deer was being pursued. A leather-skinned man in ragged clothes followed it across the road, waving a wooden broadsword and whooping. This item did not appear in the paper, but I like to think the man’s name was either Liberty or Freedom.

Getting to Boulder (prices on the previous link may not be current): Boulder is about twenty miles west of Denver, and 40 miles SE of Denver National Airport (called DIA, but DEN on airline reservation databases). You can rent a car, take the Airporter or SuperShuttle to your hotel, or ride an RTD bus to Boulder’s Walnut Street Station and cab from there.

Lodging (also covered in the above Getting to Boulder link): Boulder isn’t that big, so almost any hotel will do. If you have the bucks, you can feel like Teddy Roosevelt and stay at the Hotel Boulderado – an antique-filled wonder only a block from the Pearl Street Pedestrian Mall. Highly recommended. A little farther from the Mall but still in central Boulder is the newish Marriott. Right next door to McGuckin Hardware! And for lodging on the cusp of the foothills, choose the Silver Saddle Motel. I have never stayed there and always wanted to. Not in town, but with a cabiny charm. Good for you snowshoers and mountain bikers.

Getting Around Boulder: The RTD bus system isn’t bad. There are several routes that buzz up and down main streets, so if you don’t mind a little walking, you can travel that grid and get close to about anything. I don’t recommend cabs. The distances are so small, you’d be spending as much on tips as on fares. If you come during non-snow times, consider renting a bicycle. Just remember that we don’t have a lot of air here. In fact, let me take the opportunity to warn those coming from sea-level. Drink lots of water and take it easy your first day if you don’t want to get queasy or fall asleep standing up. Altitude sickness is a real thing.

Dining: If you did nothing but eat on your visit, you’d still be happy. As a hard-core foodie, I’m going to give you four of my many favorites. And just so you know, there is no dress code in Boulder. You want to wear shorts and flip-flops at L’Atelier? Go for it. All of the following are right off the Pearl Street Mall.

L’Atelier – Radek Cerny studied under Paul Bocuse and Roger Verge. Now we’re fortunate to have his incredible French cuisine in Boulder, at an incredible value. The Steak Tartar appetizer alone is enough to feed two people. Beautiful food in beautiful surroundings. If you have six people or so, reserve the Rose Room.

The Attic – Pub food, but oh, what pub food. Catch Happy Hour and get it even cheaper than usual. Quite possibly the best burgers in Boulder.

Sushi Tora – There are a lot of sushi places in Boulder. This is the best. And don’t give me any of that coastal hubris – they fly the fresh fish in daily. Sit at the sushi bar and you might get free barbecued salmon ribs. They’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, and that’s saying something.

Conor O’Neils – This pub’s façade was imported from Ireland. Luckily, the food is not authentic. Conor’s is one of Boulder’s musical hotspots, so in addition to having a great meal, you can enjoy live tunes, sometimes with fiddle and sometimes not. Call to find out what nights are what and don’t shun the open-mike night; some of the best performers come then.

As a final note, all of Boulder’s restaurants and bars are non-smoking except for The Walrus, which has a separate area for smoking. Many restaurants have outdoor seating, and you can usually smoke there.

To read last month's Travel article, click here

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